The pink sky
Maybe that’s what the boy thought, to withstand the tide. He stood there with his hands spread out, his face determined to take down what seemed to be bigger than him. He looked like a warrior behind the pink sky, waiting with a sword in his hand, ready to slay his enemies. He was down the next moment, as the tide swept him to the shore. His mother had a playful smirk on her face when she washed away the sand from his face — maybe she was telling him what my mother always told me — I had warned you! To my surprise, the boy went back again, with his hands spread out waiting for the next tide to sweep him off his feet.
Why was I surprised? Isn’t this what I had done too? I knew I could never end up with her, but I still went ahead. As I walked back to my room, I could hear her voice in my head.
“Look at the sky, it’s pink”, she always used to say while I was too busy scrolling through my endless feeds. And I would then look at her face, reflecting the last rays of the sun, making it shine like a brilliantly cut diamond in a furnace. Some extreme emotions ingrain a moment in your brain which never fades. When I think of something more beautiful than the setting sun, it would be her bright face, wind whispering through her hair and her eyes yearning for me to look at the sky.
It’s been two years since we parted ways, but her memories never left me. It took me two years to realize that I was wrong about replacing people. I always thought it would be easy enough to forget someone and replace them with somebody else, but I found it out the harsh way. Nobody actually leaves you but you just learn to live without them.
I knew tonight was going to be another sleepless night as I gazed at the empty wall while sitting on my bed. I have been this way for a long time now, but today was different. Today I realized I might never recover, and that thought is frightening, to know that you might never know what happiness is. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t realize my phone was ringing for a long time. This is one of the few instances in my day which make me smile, when I receive my mother’s call. I never told her what I am going through, partly because I didn’t want to discuss about it.
“Hi Mom”, I said.
“Is everything alright?”, she asked. How does she do this? Does she have some machine that dissects my breath patterns?
“Look son”, she continued without waiting for my answer. Maybe she knew all along and couldn’t take it any longer. “The world outside is harsh. It tells you a lot of lies. The main one being that God gives you a second chance at life. He doesn’t. He gave you one chance and that was when you were born. Just remember that the sunset you love so much wouldn’t have been beautiful without a cloudy sky.”
I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t cry either. I couldn’t comprehend even a single word she said, but somewhere I felt happy. What did that 5 minutes of call do to me? How could she know. Where am I getting this new found strength from? Why do I feel like I could be happy again? I may know the reason. It’s simple. It’s the same reason why the boy at the beach went back into the water knowing that he would be swept off to the shore again. He knew he had someone who would clean him up, make him smile again. He knew his mother was standing behind him with a smile on her face, waiting to help him get up after he was down.
I slowly walked towards the balcony. I don’t know why I found it fascinating to stare at the people walking on the beach. Maybe because I knew the sun was setting down to mark the beginning of a new dawn for me. I slowly spread my arms out taking in a deep breath. It’s been long since I breathed in like that. As I spread my arms out, my face determined to take down something much bigger than me, I slowly opened my eyes. The sky was still pink.